SaleHoo

[wychewes]

Doctor – I think I have the swine flu.

How long have you felt like this?

For about a Wee wee wee wee eek!

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Mother: Doctor come quickly, my daughter has swine ‘flu – she woke up with pigtails.

Doctor: Give her some oinkment and I’ll send a hambulance.

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Man ‘phones wife late evening on 30th anniversary. Ran out of petrol on way home from work. Will miss big night out at restaurant.

Wife “Why didn’t you fill up earlier?”

Husband “Too risky – swine ‘flu”.

Wife “You bloody moron, its Mexico not Texaco”.

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Drug industry marketing schedule:-

1980 – HIV

1986 – Mad Cow

2003 – SARS

2007 – Bird ‘flu

2009 – Swine ‘flu

2011 – dog, cat, mouse, hamster, Bunny ‘flu, fever, diahorrea

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I’ve broken out in rashers.

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I called the Health Helpline – all I heard was crackling.
_________________________________________________________

“Hey waitress, whats for lunch”?

“You got pork belly and a pigs head, so we’re serving salad.”

_________________________________________________________

STOP PRESS Avian and Swine ‘flu mutate – flying pigs shot down over
White House.

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[fudjj]

I've broken out in rashers...classic!

[artpants]

pandemics are hysterical aren't they...

[userexists]

A bit of a chuckle to start the day never hurt anybody!

[fudjj]

I'll take a bit of a chuckle at any time of the day personally. At the start, in the middle...heck...I'll even accept getting woken in the middle of the night...but it better be one seriously BIG chuckle....cause I am fond of my beauty sleep : )

[wychewes]

Beauty sleep ???? lol

[fudjj]

What, you think I should give up mate, would take a lot more than beauty sleep to get this face onto a magazine cover.....lol

[artpants]

fudjj, hope you don't mind me asking, are you male or female? just curious.

[fudjj]

It depends on how much I'm being paid : )

Call 1900fudjj.....Yikes, starting to creep myself out now, and that takes some doing!

: )

[wychewes]

Notice how he still didn't answer the question....lol
Politician material.

[fudjj]

Notice how "HE" still didn't answer the question : )

[wychewes]

Freudian slip

[fudjj]

LOL, welcome to the site Doc!

[wychewes]

As the two friends wandered through the snow on their way home,Piglet grinned to himself,thinking how lucky he was to have a friend like Pooh.

Pooh thought to himself:
"If the pig sneezes,he's *****freaken***** dead."

[wychewes]

Did you hear Kermit the Frog is sick?
Yeah, He got Swine Flu from Ms. Piggie, when he was asked about it he replied, "Bitch told me she was clean".