I agree with you that is is very difficult. You are in a better position than most in that you want to own your inventory. When I was a seller, the process that worked for me was to identify the product that met my parameters (I'll be happy to discuss how I established that) and then I sourced the product. If I couldn't source within the parameters, I moved on to another product until I found a product(s) that I could source and make money. No small task! :)
Feel free to contact me at my primary email: Link hidden: Login to view
I'll be happy to disucss the particulars of where you are selling etc. and if my products fit for you, we can discuss a wholesale account.
All the best!