New Joke of the Day...

First guy walks into a bar...

Second guy walks into a bar...

Third guy ducks. :lol:




I know it's lame but I couldn't resist :D

thats quite funny.... :oops:

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side.
'When I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my trousers,' he said. 'I gave them to your mother and told her to put them on. When she did, they were enormous on her and she said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large. 'I told her, 'of course they're too big. I wear the trousers in this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, we have never had a single problem.'

Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on. Jill said that the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly wear them.

'Exactly,' replied Jack. 'I wear the trousers in this relationship and I always will. I don't want you to forget that.'
Jill paused and removed her knickers and gave them to Jack. 'Try these on,' she said, so he tried them on but they were too small. 'I can't possibly get into your knickers,' said Jack.

'Exactly,' replied Jill. 'And if you don't change your f**king attitude, you never will!'

I've heard that one before... it's funny and so true :P

A divorced woman walks along the beach searching for some answers in her life. While walking she stumbles upon a lamp. She rubs it and a genie pops out and says, 'I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for your ex will get double.' The woman wishes for a million dollars, and poof she gets it while her ex gets 2 million. She then asks for diamonds and poof her wish is granted and at the same time her ex gets double. She then ponders for a bit and turns to the genie asking, 'Is it true that whatever I wish for my ex will get double?' The genie replied, 'Yes.' 'Then for my third wish', she said, 'I want you to scare me half to death.'


-Benjamin

centrecorp thats funny as.!!! :lol: :lol: